Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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