my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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