dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
