After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
