i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
