Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize