just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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