I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
