How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
