She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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