i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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