even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
