Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
