How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize