that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
