Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
