Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im holly from the hills drunk
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
