Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
