then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
