i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
