my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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