i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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