Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We named our party play list daddy issues
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
