if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
