3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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