Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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