Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
