a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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