Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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