does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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