i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
