Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
