you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
