You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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