she looked like the bat from fern gully.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
