Yo dont text me then not text me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
