porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
