I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
