the new term for farting is butt boxing.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
