but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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