His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Randomize
