I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
