He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
