So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
