And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize