when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
