u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
