I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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