She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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