North Korea, Best Korea!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
