If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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