Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
