yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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