capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
