That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
