You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize