i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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