there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
