how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
