you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
