why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
