shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
