butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My dick has a subreddit
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
