If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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