I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
