She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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